Last week, Fizz No More’s tally was 4-3 in favor of Fizz. Dedication was present from Monday to Thursday until a slip up on Friday created an avalanche of fizz that lasted until Sunday. The following week was the opposite. The score was 5-2 in favor of fizz, not Fizz but fizz! I keep telling myself not to be let down by failures and get back in to what I was doing. It’s not going to be perfect but if I give up, that would make a definite loser. Cliche as it may, I’ll keep the saying “Try and try until you succeed.”
Instead of boring you with the repetitive and mundane details on how I barely won and how I lost, I thought of writing about my relationship with iced tea instead. In restaurants, I’d often go for bottomless (refillable) soda with iced tea as the second option should I be feeling “health conscious”. The better choice would be to not order bottomless in the first place. Another better choice would be to not order soda nor iced tea. Both are packed with sugar and it’s not good for us however we want to look at it. During those occasions I would flirt with iced tea, it didn’t always turn out the way I wanted to.
Several times, whenever I dined out with a close girl friend and I’d go for iced tea, it would send a catastrophic rumbling inside my stomach. It would trigger my parcopresis and I’d try my best to keep a smile while invisible worry emoticons kept popping above my head. I could not pinpoint which food caused the rumbling. I’ve had many. But one common denominator in them all was that I had iced tea. I also could not narrow it down between house-blend iced tea or the opposite. Even Wendy’s delicious and deceptive iced tea and iced tea lite are criminals to those. As long as it’s iced tea in restaurants and food joints, there’s an 80% probability of it causing a digestive uproar.
I also had an affair with iced red tea. The place I can remember it the most is at Tokyo Tokyo. Almost all of my friends that would eat there would go bonkers for that and order it. It looked cool. It was cool. Served in a jumbo-sized glass, the tonkatsu, mixed vegetables, and refillable rice did not object when served with the red tea. I now can say they don’t match at all. The flavors don’t seem to complement each other. Water or soda would be best ordered with them. Nonetheless, the red and black color scheme of Tokyo Tokyo’s stores would push you to get the iced red tea. What I hated the most about it was the stomach pain it would give me whenever I finished my meal. Apparently, iced red tea would make my digestive system produce more acid than other beverages. I would just shut up about it because I didn’t want to admit that an expensive drink didn’t make me happy at all. Needless to say, I never order iced red tea anymore after admitting to myself that it was and is SHIT (Sorry red tea lovers).
Milk tea is a fad (forgive me for calling it a fad) that I would never really understand. For us lactose-intolerant people, milk alone is reason enough to stay away from it. For me however, the milk and tea duo is a match made in hell. I tried it, believe me. I tried participating in the milk tea craze but the very few times I did, it made New Year’s eve happen inside my body. I did not like it at all. In fact, I fucking hate it. Sorry for cursing folks, that’s how much I despise it. Admittedly, my view on milk tea is jaded because I see lots of calories tagged with it. As someone who’s trying to stay on the track of healthy living, I try to avoid it as best as possible.
My worst escapade with iced tea was a reunion dinner with my former officemates. We went to Kenny Roger’s Roasters to dine. I ordered iced tea ’cause I thought it was going to make a difference. Had I known what would happen after, I would’ve went for the guilty pleasure instead. After dinner, we went and had a coffee at Starbucks. A few minutes into the coffee, I felt a typhoon inside of me. I panicked secretly, not telling my friends about my worry. I dashed to the nearest comfort room when I felt I couldn’t hold it any longer. But when I stepped inside the restroom, parcopresis kicked in and my body involuntarily pacified the typhoon. I had to wait to get home then to flush it. Flushed I did when I reached our house a few minutes before midnight. A couple of minutes later, there was a weird pain in my stomach. It felt like being bloated too much. There was a rapid movement in my stomach that would occur every few minutes. It hurt like hell. I could not stand up properly. I made hot tea thinking it would calm down whatever entity that was beating inside me but it did not work. I lied face down on top of a pillow chair thinking that would push the gas (I thought that it was gas) out of my system. But it did not work too. I looked for ointments and oils in the house, applied them to my belly but those failed as well. I asked my mother to accompany me to the nearest hospital. On the way there, I thought I was having appendicitis. The doctor said it was bacteria. They gave me some medicine and even asked for some stool sample which I wasn’t able to give ’cause my ass is not my best friend. I turned okay after a day or two taking the medicine.
That experience incurred some fear of iced tea and coffee for me. I never really got to narrow it down between the two. Last week though, after ordering iced tea thinking it was safe for me already I felt the entity beating inside me again. It wasn’t as bad as the Kenny Roger’s experience but it worried me. Digestive problems really scare me after some illness a couple of years ago. Any weird feeling I feel that I think is related to it sends a wave of panic through me. I think that recursion will serve as a reminder to me to stay away from iced tea for now (or for good, who knows?).
These are the reasons I preferred soda over iced tea most of the time. As much as I wanted to love iced tea, it never really worked out between the two of us. So I have accepted that a committed relationship with it is almost impossible. Hence, I have to go with other options. Hot teas are friendly to me. Hot teas converted into refrigerated teas are better. But any other iced tea out there in the market, I would have to turn down for now, or maybe forever.